Wallet Warriors

“Speak, friend, and enter.”

Elvish riddle on the Gate of Moria, Lord of the Rings

“Circles and Rings, Dragons and Kings...”

Neon Knights, Black Sabbath

“They’re brave, adventurous, ready to fight! And they fit in your wallet!”

Wallet Warriors, Epic Age Media

HIGH LORD SHADE

You seem despondent, young disciple.

DISCIPLE

I am sorry, Master. Sometimes I wonder if I am cut out for this life of study and meditation.

HIGH LORD SHADE

You are feeling restless? Impatient?

DISCIPLE

Somewhat.

HIGH LORD SHADE

Have you performed your stretches and exercises?

DISCIPLE

Of course. And that is what leads me to think that I must become more physical, more active.

HIGH LORD SHADE

In what manner?

DISCIPLE

Perhaps I would do well as a warrior!

HIGH LORD SHADE

Ah, yes. The urge to conquer one's foes and to prove his courage.

DISCIPLE

Exactly! How I desire to defend the righteous and slay those who commit evil acts!

HIGH LORD SHADE

A noble pursuit. But I daresay that you do not fully realize this course that you would undertake.

DISCIPLE

I can wield a sword! It shall be easy!

HIGH LORD SHADE

Hmm. Allow me to show you this small simulation.

DISCIPLE

Another one of your masterful designs, my lord?

HIGH LORD SHADE

Quite.

DISCIPLE

Wallet Warriors. It does have a funny name, Master!

HIGH LORD SHADE

And aptly so, for it was created to fit in your pocket that you may carry it everywhere as a reminder.

DISCIPLE

A reminder of what?

HIGH LORD SHADE

The true nature of an adventurer's life.

DISCIPLE

I see. It looks fascinating. And there are many roles to choose from; barbarian, knight, sorceress, thief...

HIGH LORD SHADE

Yes, there are many aspects.

DISCIPLE

I also see that there is a maze to navigate.

HIGH LORD SHADE

Several. You will never want for places to explore.

DISCIPLE

And there are many quests to undertake. I am all the more intrigued!

HIGH LORD SHADE

As you should be. There are many rewards as well; from gold to finely crafted weapons to magical spells and items.

DISCIPLE

Fantastic! May I begin right away?

HIGH LORD SHADE

If you like. However, a wise strategist and tactician always looks ahead and sizes up his enemies and obstacles.

DISCIPLE

There are pits and darts and bear traps. Certainly I can avoid those.

HIGH LORD SHADE

Continue.

DISCIPLE

Poison needles, acid sprays and crushing walls?! That sounds rather lethal...

HIGH LORD SHADE

Indeed.

DISCIPLE

Well, at least I can slay dangerous creatures. Giant rats, bats and snakes are no match for me!

HIGH LORD SHADE

And the others?

DISCIPLE

Minotaurs?! Demons?! Dragons?!

HIGH LORD SHADE

Do you still wish to pursue the life of a warrior?

DISCIPLE

Ummm...perhaps after a bit more study. For now I will be content with this clever card game.

HIGH LORD SHADE

And so it goes....